You can love a person without attachment, and you can love a person without suffering for him. If your love is selfishly motivated, you will have attachment, and if you have attachment you will suffer. If your love is impartial, without any expectations, you will have no attachment and no suffering. If you love someone without any expectation in any form, not only grossly but spiritually, then the love will help you, and it will help him.
June 1979, Munger