How can I manage my anger?
I still remember the day when my father told me something. I went inside the room, loaded the rifle and said, “Don’t tell me again what I have to do!” He was a very intelligent man and said, “Yes, thy will be done.” That was my father.
When I was with my guru, there was a rule in the ashram, that when the Vishwanath temple bell rang, it meant the bhoga had been offered. Whatever was cooked in the kitchen was first sent to the temple as bhoga then it became an ayurveda. After that, the bell used to ring for all of us to eat.
One day, one good devotee came from Chandausi and Swamiji wanted him to be fed. I was in charge of the kitchen. I told him that bhoga had not taken place, ayurveda had not been offered. He said, “It doesn’t matter, he is also Bhagavan.” I took the bunch of keys and said, “You manage your kitchen, I am going. The rule is the rule, no matter you or anybody!” I mean, I was so full of anger, you understand?
Only a person who is very sensitive, when offended , gets very angry. People who are blockheaded, how can they have anger? How can they get passion? Passion, anger, indicates how sharp, sensitive, quick and responsive your brain is, that for a little thing, you blow up.
Of course these people do suffer in life. The suffering within oneself is so much, but this suffering which we people with passion and with anger undergo, this suffering pays us well. We become very good artists, musicians, speakers, managers and prime ministers. We become very good swamis also. You should never misbehave with all those qualities which create an obstacle in your family and in your society.
Anger is an obstacle, a social obstacle. Like anger there are many other things which are not respected and accepted, and because of which people will say, ‘Oh, he’s not a good man, he gets angry.’ That of course one has to take care of. I don’t know how to. I never took care of it. You know, on account of this I have had a lot of difficulties with many people throughout my life.
I had a fight with the governor of Bihar once. I had a fight with the district magistrate. I had a fight with the sub-divisional officer who could have put me in jail at any time – just getting fiery, like Durvasa, the great saint. You should not worry about your anger, but if you want to pacify it I can give you only one suggestion – practise shashankasana for a long time. This will help you and will create a very proper balance in your adrenal secretions.
Swamiji, will you speak on maithuna?
Why do you ask about maithuna? You are the people who have better experience than myself. I should ask you. I can be your disciple if you like in this matter. People are asking this question again and again. Maithuna is the law of the body; it is the law of creation; it is the law of life. I don’t say:
Ahara nidra bhaya maithunamchya samanyametat.
Pashubhirnranam jnanam hi teshamdhico visheshah jnanen hinah pashubhih samanah.
Eating, sleeping, fear and maithuna, they are the qualities of the entire living creatures and the Manusmriti has made it very clear that there is no harm in it, especially when you practise it as a dharma.
As a dharma it is a duty, an obligation and part of your sadhana through which you will evolve. You need not be undisciplined. I am not asking anyone to live a life of indiscipline. That is up to you; if you want you can be, but when we talk about maithuna in tantra, we definitely say maithuna has two meanings at the same time.
Maithuna is the word which derives from the Sanskrit root maithunam which means ‘two together’. It does not mean sex. You understand? Maithuna means ‘two together’. What two? Two things, two objects, two beings or two creatures with opposite polarities – not similar polarities. The polarity has to be different.
Positive and negative, two wires pass through the cable and at the moment there is a contact. In the same way, in the realm of nature there are two polarities – male and female. She is the negative polarity and he is the positive polarity. This positive and negative polarity is also known as time and space.
I am talking the language of physics; you may not be able to accept it immediately. Time and space represent these two polarities which are always apart from each other. Whenever these polarities move and they always move in opposite direction and when they move in opposite direction they meet at one point, that is called the nucleus. Therefore, the meeting point at maithunam is the nucleus point and this nucleus alone explodes.
You should by no means underestimate the importance of your conjugal life. You should not consider this merely as a tool of progeny or merely a tool of bhoga, enjoyment, but it is an act which gives you a momentary experience. Through that experience you can peep through the window and into higher samadhi, when bliss becomes constant and is stabilized for a protracted period. It is exactly the same experience, but for a long time. Therefore, I must tell you very frankly that people who have the opportunity of interacting with each other should learn more about this art.
Others choose another path. Ramakrishna was a brahmacharin, Swami Sivananda and many others. Thousands of them were brahmacharins and by no means were they useless. They are the pillars. They are the lighthouse for us, but you should remember that everybody does not have the capacity to reach that height. We should realize our own limitations.
23 October 1985, Bharatiya Vidya Bhawan, Bombay