Many times I made mistakes, both in my life and in the ashram, as an inmate and as an executive. I was always expecting to be called by him, but he never once called me. I thought that he would rebuke me or admonish me, or tell me what was right and wrong, but he never said one word. When I used to go to him he would never raise the point. He would just say the usual things. He never recognized the mistakes in man. He always used to say that everybody had in him the spark of divinity.
Swami Sivananda lived life in all its completeness: at once a great saint of the calibre of Christ; an administrator in the highest position; a sannyasin with total detachment from life; a man brimming over with compassion, love and charity, but living a life of austerity and dispassion; a bhakta and devotee of God, and side by side a philosopher of superior intellect; a man with discipline and strictness, as well as loving kindness for every sentient and insentient creation of God.
The temperaments of my guru and myself were diametrically opposed. He was like the humble, holy cow, whereas I was like a ferocious Alsatian dog. To this day there is still some vestige of that die hard habit left in me, but my guru was very calm and serene and I placed all my trust in him. He invariably said that everyone must learn to stand on their own two feet. I believed him because he told me that I should never think of living in the ashram permanently. I would never become a frog in the well.
He gave me just one piece of advice, which was to have unshakeable faith in God. He told me not to be ruffed by hope and dejection, not to worry about my talents or the powers I would obtain later. I followed his words with full faith. I never planned to do this or that. I decided to do as he bade me. Everyone is born with a predetermined destiny. We are all pre-programmed and our journey through life follows that program. It is extremely difficult to explain what kind of relationship I had with Swami Sivananda. I think of him very often, but it is not like the way you think of your near and dear ones. My guru always guided me and put me on the right track.