When your stomach is bad what happens? Bad wind, stomach ache, loss of hunger, giddiness or uneasiness. What do you do? You take a tablet and go to the toilet a number of times. Or you take an enema, clean yourself, so you can go to the toilet five, six, seven times and all the bad things come out.
In the same way, when you practise mantra or meditation first the negative thoughts must and will come. It is necessary to understand this process. This has been the complaint and the experience of most people and that is why we always suggest you practise the mantra with a mala.
When you go on practising your mantra and your mind is brooding on all kinds of things, the mala brings you back again and again. The mala is the resort for the wandering mind. You will have to face again the negativity of the mind.
At every level of transition in spiritual evolution, you will have to face negativity of different dimensions. When the awakening of kundalini takes place, the negativity is much more powerful than you are talking about. What is the Satan of Christ and what is Mara of Buddha? The same negativity of mind at the time of awakening.
You should read the life history of people who have awakened their kundalini, they go through a terrifying experience! At the moment you are only facing the negativity of the consciousness, when you awaken your kundalini you have to face the negativity of the subconscious mind, and the terrific negativity of the unconscious mind, when all the repressions come out in the form of nightmares.
According to the depth of your mind, you will face the negativity of the mind at three levels. This negativity is what I referred to earlier – Brahma granthi, Vishnu granthi, Shiva or Rudra granthi, on the mental plane.
When you are practising your sadhana, when your mind is vomiting negativity, you must feel better. You must feel good. You should not be frustrated; you should not feel sorry. On the contrary, you should feel happy because you are purging. You know purgatory. Purgatory means toilet.
The negative thoughts which come to you during sadhana, come from a very deep source and it is not at all possible to suppress them. If negative thoughts come in your mind and you say no, it goes away but it comes back. Again you say no, it will go away, it will come in a different form which can even be a physical disease. In yoga there are two ways suggested for controlling the mind, abhyasa and vairagya. Abhyasa means constant practice, and vairagya means detached view of all you have seen and heard.
The thoughts of the past come – let them. Worry comes, anxiety comes, let them come. Remain detached. Don’t identify yourself. Don’t feel panicky about it, ‘Oh God, what am I thinking!’ Practise your mantra, abhyasa. Vairagya means dis-identification with the cravings of the past, which you have heard and seen. So abhyasa and vairagya must be combined.
16 June 1984, Sivanandashram Paris