I never gave any thought to the things that I have achieved and received in my life. I had left my home and family with just one aim. I had met a tantric yogini who had given me the experience of shaktipat, an energetic experience transmitted from guru to disciple, and I wanted to have those experiences again. I had not gone to the ashram to do karma yoga. I had never thought of writing books and typing them out. I only wanted to sit somewhere and perform my spiritual practice, learning from a guru who would reveal everything to me. I know now that it is not possible; the spiritual path is not that easy.
Whatever a person is to achieve and receive, he will do so without ever having thought about it. Whatever is in his destiny he is sure to get, whether he does something about it or not. People exert themselves a great deal and worry too much. They get very disturbed. The amount of water that can fill your pot will depend on its size; it cannot hold more than its capacity.
Whenever I went to other countries, I was sent there by God. I didn't go there because I wished to go. Every person has his individual nature. My nature is such that I have never wanted to earn money. I have total faith that if I want money, it will come. I have never felt the worry, 'If I don't have money, what will I do?' When I decided to implement the plan for Ganga Darshan, I said, "The money will come; there is no need to worry." The one hundred and eight rupees that my guru Swami Sivananda had given me when I left the ashram are still with me. I only went on adding zeros to that amount.
I do not want to worship God in order to ask for wealth, knowledge, or anything else. Why beg from God? I have made a request to God only once, and he has fulfilled my prayer. At that time I was feeling very dejected, otherwise, why ask God for anything? You should ask from someone who is not omnipresent. It is possible that God is sitting within, thinking and speaking through us. It is difficult to say.
While the thought of money never entered my mind, I have had money. Before I left home, I had to give my father an authority letter for tax and other purposes. Along with that, I gave him my Post Office Pass Book which contained savings of ten thousand rupees, about three thousand dollars back then. My father saw that and asked, "Have you committed a theft or robbery?" I said, "Not a theft. I have worked." The ten thousand rupees in those days is equal to hundreds of thousands of rupees today. We could get seven kilos of sugar for one rupee and now you get one kilo for ten rupees.
When I went to Rishikesh, it was the same story. At that time I used to earn three thousand rupees every day; I am talking about the years 1944 to 1945. People in Rishikesh were envious of me. The pandit who had prepared my horoscope had said I would be a pauper, someone who would bring an end to the family lineage, and a loafer as well. All three things turned out to be true; however, he did not know that when iron comes in contact with a touchstone, it turns to gold.
The guru's company and the guru's touch does not change a person's destiny, but its meaning changes. I am a pauper even today. I have never opened an account in any bank, nor have I ever signed a cheque or counted any money. I have even brought an end to the family lineage. Since I have never married, how can there be any children? I was also a loafer, sometimes in Rishikesh and sometimes elsewhere; I never stayed in one place. I might go away from here as well, I can't say. Leaving a place is not an important thing. To build and grow something is difficult; you need to put effort in and sweat it out. However, you do not need to do anything much to leave; you just have to make a decision and leave, hold on to your loincloth and step out. However, people find that difficult, as they enjoy accumulating things.
These days I do talk to people, yet I never give them spiritual guidance as there are rules for paramahamsa sadhana. However, let me tell you this much: every person has ups and downs in life. Whether the enjoyment or wealth is for accumulation or for use, for knowledge or for liberation, nothing happens through impatience and haste. Whatever has to happen will happen. This has been my experience in life. Therefore, if you desire God, sadhana, liberation or anything else, no matter how much you strive for these, just give up worry, anxiety and agitation. In spiritual life nothing happens without the wish of God, even though you may try to find thousands of solutions. It is said that no matter how hard a person strives, without the grace of God, you cannot get the grace of God.
I have learnt only one secret of the spiritual path: give up feeling disturbed and be content with whatever you have received from God. Get up in the morning, remember God for some time, do satsang: these are essential in human life. However, whatever you desire from the spiritual path you will not attain through human effort. You will not attain that result through any amount of hard work that you put in. You will get that only if He wishes to give it to you. If He feels like it, you will receive it. If He does not wish it, you will not receive it. No one has any right or control over this process. No one even knows what God's grace is. If He wishes, He will give you an experience, a darshan or vision, or a spiritual life. Otherwise, you can go on flailing your arms and legs; nothing is going to happen.