On Men and Women

Do males consider themselves superior to women?

No, he does not consider himself superior but because the male has made all the rules, so he rules. Since he rules, he makes laws in his favour. In the scheme of creation, the creator has had feminine qualities. He may not have a feminine body, may not be a female, but the creative principle had feminine qualities. This is definite. If Vishnu created, then he had some feminine qualities because male qualities are not creative.

In no kingdom, whether it is animal or vegetable, whether mammal, reptile or human being, is there a male who has produced a child. That is not the system at all – creation is not my job! Man is not the creative principle! It is the female who has the facility whether they are natural, divine or whatever facilities for creation. So, therefore we call the devi the yoni of srishti: srishti means creation, yoni means from where you emerge, and devi is the feminine God. God as mother not God as father, this is a very ancient concept in many ancient tribes even in Harappa, Mohenjodaro, they had the same concept that the creative principle belongs to the female. That is how the females enjoy a superior position.

Swamiji, is it true that males are stronger than females genetically?

So far as physical strength is considered, but men have always been defeated. We do not know much about the interiors of world politics and palace cliques, and parliamentary cliques, but most of the revolutions and disasters, females are behind it somewhere. I am talking history! Behind every emperor, behind every thinker, business man, industrialist, maybe it is not his wife but there has to be some girl behind it.

What are your thoughts on marriage and love?

A time has to come when mankind has to learn to live without marriage. It is not a ritual that is necessary. A time has to come when people have to be so disciplined, they must know how to live, and then the children will be better. Not the children of a slave woman because most women who are married are slaves.

At the wedding ceremony you have taken the 7 rounds of fire with your husband, but you have not taken the 8th round. That 8th round you take with the man with whom your heart connects, and where your heart resides. He may not be your husband, he may be your father, he may be your God, he may be a friend of yours. He can be anyone whom you actually LOVE. Love does not only mean sex. Love is a feeling of heart.

This Round of Love is the 8th Round which is from the heart and which is the residing place of your heart.

Women in any form, whether in the form of sister or mother, have a very inspiring role to play in life. It is not just your physical relationship which decides your love for a person. You can love a person without having anything physical to do with him or her. Love strengthens even sexual relationships, but it is much beyond that. We have tried to keep that part of history in the background because we have been puritans, orthodox people, and we never wanted everyone to know that she was behind him, because it would create a precedent.

That is precisely what most wives have not understood, and they have been very unhappy in their lives because they have seen their men going somewhere else. They think that it is bad, but they do not know that she is the inspiration and not themselves! Such quarrels should not take place in families. In each and every human being, particularly in men, there is some sort of capacity to be something, and there is someone who should be able to inspire it. There are of course those who suppress it, but I personally feel – you shouldn’t mind – that married life subdues man’s innate ability to create. There have been very few in the world who have been happily married and creative.

The role of a woman is to awaken the creativity and the power in the man. Jijabai exploded the genius in Shivaji. There have been many great examples. When a Jaipur emperor came home after losing a battle, the empress did not open the gate. She said, “I cannot face you.” He had to go back and fight; you need this type of wife. Tulsidas ran the whole night, he crossed the river on a dead body, he went to Ratna. Ratna said, “Why have you come here?” He said, “I love you so much.” She said, “What nonsense you love me so much! Why don’t you love God as much as you love this perishable body?” That’s what changed his life!

A woman should be a beloved – not a wife – cut it off! Not a slave girl. You are your husband’s beloved friend – use the word friend, ‘I am your friend’. Such wives are very rare. A wife has to be a man’s friend – ‘I am not your subordinate and you are not my boss. We are the right wing and the left wing.’ This is the concept in all the religious books, but we do not practise it. We have a society of some undisciplined wild people. In our society there is a big chunk who are undisciplined. So these undisciplined people will not misuse the 8th round of love marriage system was brought in for the sake of a healthy tradition.

Does the potential of males and females differ in spiritual life either as disciples or in the way they develop spiritually?

I think women can play the role of a guru very correctly and very successfully. That is their potential. They may not be able to create an idea, they may not be able to win a war, they may not be able to create a political party – though some can do that too, but most women can play the role of a guru because women by nature have an intense instinct if they are not spiritual and intense intuition if they are spiritual. That part of their brain is well developed. Even instinct is all right, because sometimes you can guide others through instinct and intuition.

Man is very dynamic, he has the capacity to utilize his hands and heart to make or destroy. Man has to be kept dynamic, he needs it, but she should guide him. This is a very inexplicable thing. If you are not a man you may not be able to understand it. I am a man. I can get inspiration from her, from anyone. I find women have certain guiding factors. Even as you listen to my speech carefully, I listen to what the girls speak, they speak instinctively, but I get it. From the point of view of guidance, I do not analyse the motives, that is not my nature, I only try to understand what guidance is being given to me so far as accomplishment, action and creativity is concerned. That feminine guidance is most possible for women. There may be a few exceptions here and there, but definitely they have a developed, intense instinct or intuition.